I’m so used to taking my shoes off when I come into the house that one day, wearing my slippers, I went outside to check the mail and then I took my slippers off before I came inside, as if I was wearing shoes! It seemed funny that I was so imprinted with the action: enter house – shoes come off. This was so ingrained in how I did things without even thinking about it, that it brought to mind how many things do we do automatically? How many times do we respond to others automatically without being aware of what we are saying?
When I began this journey, I began noticing how people would acknowledge each other walking through a hallway. I worked in a corporate setting, there were always people passing each other the hallways throughout the day, greeting each other with “Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you?” People would say “Hi, how are you?”, and the response would be: “Hi how are you?”
No one paused to say “Great!” or “Eh!”, The automatic response conversation was: “Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you?”
And I am sure you have experienced this: stuff happens, and we automatically growl “GRRRRrrr!” or say: “I’m so stupid!”, “ugh! I can’t believe this” or old phrases that we have that are outdated.
This happens. And then there are the times that your routine is disrupted! Every day you get in your car, turn left and get onto Rt 17 North. Then one day, you realize, after you have been driving on Rt 17 North for a minute – yikes –how did I get here – I am going somewhere else today!
It’s as if you were in a trance.
Once you “wake-up” you realize, some of these patterns are keeping you from being present. When you notice you have done something unconsciously, that is the time to begin your shift. This happens in stages.
You become conscious of something and don’t do anything about it.
The next time you notice, you’re a little more aware.
Finally, you think about doing something and choose to do it differently.
Now you are creating a new pattern to be more present.
Your path to consciousness happens in stages.
My “Pal Al” Einstein said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.
You are always in a place where you are supposed to be. When you are ready for awareness it comes up to bite you to catch your attention.
Here is a simple way to look at the concept of consciousness.
1.” Unconsciously Incompetent”, you don’t know what you don’t know. Ignorance.
Example: You are a child, and for the first time you see people driving cars. Wow! Look at that! Something I have never seen before.
- “Consciously Incompetent”: You are aware of something you want to know, something you want to change. Desire.
Example: You are older, and you are curious, you are aware that you do not know how to drive a car.
- “Consciously Competent”: You are taking conscious actions to change your state. Example: You are 16 years old and can get your drivers permit. You take driving lessons. Each time you get in the car, you take time to get acclimated, put on your seat belt, start the engine, focus on placing your hands on the wheel, check the mirrors, take a deep breath, and begin to drive. Each action is thoughtful.
- 4. “Unconsciously Competent”: You Just Know! It Becomes Second Nature. Knowing. Example: You get in the car and drive.
These are the four stages of becoming aware.
This is happening all the time. It is how we navigate through everything.
We all have our own, unique timetable for our journey and wherever we are is where we are supposed to be.
And if we do look back and say “Wow, if I would have known what I know now, I could have, blah blah blah.”
No! You were not supposed to know anything except where you were at that time. How can you be expected to know what you don’t know? You were in stage 1: Unconsciously Incompetent..
You’re meant to do the best you can with where you are at the moment. Honor yourself as you go through your journey, one step, one chapter, one stage at a time.
Celebrate each stage of awareness. You will begin to see that where you are right now, may not have fit too well into your life 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago or 1 week ago.
Where you are now is what’s important. How you are relating to what’s happening around you right now is important. This helps you to keep moving forward.
As you evolve, you begin to see things through a different lens. Somethings you may have seen one way, all of a sudden change – it’s as if one morning, you open your eyes and notice wow – now I get it!
Embrace the moment where you are. Get excited when you realize you find yourself in
stage 1: Unconsciously Incompetent – because you know the best is yet to come.
Explore replacing expectation with fascination.
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Lois Kramer-Perez, CHt., “Queen of the Shui” Certified Feng Shui and NLP, NAP Practitioner, is the go-to expert when you are ready to receive passionate relationships, a peaceful home, and a life you love. Inspiring people to seek and create new opportunities in their lives, she puts her 10+ years of Feng Shui energy clearing to work to put you the driver’s seat with your relationships and spaces. www.loiskramerperez.com firstname.lastname@example.org